Practical Parenting
Tips for Getting Better Sleep and a Happy Baby
It’s 4 a.m. You are awake. Your partner is awake. And your 3-month-old is definitely awake — and crying. What do you do?
Parents respond to this question in many different ways on any given night, and throughout the first years of their babies’ lives. Some may immediately soothe or nurse their babies back to sleep (widely known as “attachment parenting”); others may let them “cry-it-out” for a certain amount of time, therefore giving the baby the opportunity to self-soothe (known as sleep training).
Choosing a method is a hotly debated topic among parents and pediatricians. However, research has shown that no one method is best for baby’s health, according to Dr. Andy Sagan, a pediatrician at Swedish Covenant Hospital and director of Swedish Covenant Medical Associates-Pediatrics — and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine agrees.
“Every family is different, and whether you choose attachment parenting, the cry-it-out method or take no action at all, you should feel confident that your baby will grow, and will be happy and healthy,” Sagan said. “The only difference [between methods] is that babies who are taught to self-soothe through sleep training have parents who get more sleep — and that’s it.”
From Dr. Sagan’s perspective, the choice of which method to use is simply a matter of practicality for the parent.
“My approach is very practical when it comes to most aspects of parenting, and sleep training is no exception,” Sagan said. “For those parents who would like their kids to sleep independently and through the night, sleep training can be very effective.”
For these parents, Dr. Sagan shares practical tips to set the stage for sleep training success and smooth transition to better sleep for the whole family:
Don’t start too early
Especially in the first few months, night waking is very common for babies, so don’t get overly concerned about your baby’s lack of sleep. Don’t worry about sleep or nap schedules in the first two months. Research suggests that babies do not truly develop patterns and routines for sleep until around three months.
Establish a game plan
Your baby’s two-month checkup with the pediatrician is a good time to start thinking about how you would like to approach her sleep habits. Particularly if you choose sleep training, from four months on, you are teaching her your nighttime habits, so you need to have a plan in place by then. Between the two-month and four-month checkups, observe your baby, note your own sleep habits and needs, do your research and come to an agreement with your partner on how you will proceed. Your pediatrician can help you choose a method that best suits your situation.
No matter your method, be consistent
Whatever method you use to handle night waking, stick with it, and be proactive and very clear with your goals. Consistency is key and comforting for babies, and they learn the routine faster if it is uninterrupted. Avoid switching back and forth from comforting the baby to letting her cry-it-out.
If you choose sleep training, try not to get discouraged by a few nights of little or no sleep; in most cases, it will get better after that — so hang in there. Also, don’t get distracted with the thought that she is “starving” or “feeling abandoned.” Research shows that this is not the case.
Resolve challenges early, rather than fix later
Changing a baby’s sleeping habits gets harder as she ages. If you wait 12 months to start sleep training, it will likely take longer for her to adjust, and it will be more stressful for both you and your baby. Sleep training should ideally start between three and five months.
If something about your routine (such as the time you put your baby to bed) isn’t working for you or your baby, make small adjustments until you find the right fit. If you are not having success with your method, try a more gradual approach, talk to your pediatrician, and develop a new routine as soon as possible.
Control where your baby falls asleep
Limit the times and occasions when your baby falls asleep outside her crib or bed. If she is getting sleepy in the car seat, on your shoulder, while breast feeding or in a swing, try to transfer her gently to the crib or bed while she is still awake. This will encourage her to fall asleep in the right place.
Know your limits, and your baby’s
While consistency during sleep training is important, sometimes the rules do not apply, like when your baby is sick or teething. She may need more comforting during the night at these times, and her sleep schedule will have to resume when she feels better. If possible, try not to stray from the schedule for more than three days at a time.
Remember that relapses happen
Once your baby is sleeping independently, don’t be discouraged or surprised if her habits occasionally revert back. Especially around 7 to 9 months of age, babies are naturally fussy at night due to teething, growth spurts and being on the brink of gross motor skill advances (like standing or pull-ups). If her schedule gets thrown off, just start the training process again with your regular routine.
Maintain your routine when traveling
It is unlikely that your baby will have the opportunity to sleep in the same place every single night. So when you travel, go prepared. As much as possible, try to keep the same time schedule and go through all the same motions that you would at home. Also, bring some point of continuity to hotels, grandparents’ homes and anywhere else you stay with your baby. This can be a blanket, a stuffed animal or toy that she sleeps with every night at home. This item should only come out at bedtime. That way, when you are on the road and she sees her blanket or toy come out, she knows it is time for bed as usual.