When Maternity Leave Ends
Tips on Staying Balanced
Three months after my daughter was born, I returned to my management position of five years. Just like before, I began my first day back with a cup of coffee at the nearby shop. With no baby by my side, I was able to chat with the barista and the other professionals standing in line with me. I sorted through my 500+ emails that piled up during maternity leave and responded to each with enthusiasm. I missed my baby a lot during the day, yet I was also enjoying the break from my “mama” duties and a reconnection with my professional self.
While I had gone through a tremendous life change and my personal priorities were dramatically shifted, the demands of my job had stayed the same. It wasn't long before work became overwhelming to me. Large projects had been held for my return, problems from the past were creeping up again, and to make time in my day I was faced with canceling my outlook appointments to pump. I was pushing my workday later and many days I ran to catch my bus panicking that I was going to be charged the $1 a minute late fee at daycare. I began to question…is it worth it?
On a recent Sunday, a group of professional women gathered at a workshop called Being Okay Being Away. In this workshop we explored the challenge professional women face with balancing work and parenting. We questioned how it is possible to do a good job at both and still make time for other parts of life. While we didn’t come up with all the answers, we identified common strategies that help the day to day be more rewarding.
- When you have time with your loved ones, staying in the moment is important. Find a way to leave work at work and be present for life’s moments. Take five minutes in your car or outside of your home and engage in a ritual to let go of work. It could be following your breath, or repeating a mantra, or perhaps scribbling down all of the leftover work items for tomorrow.
- Women often let self-care and extra activities of enjoyment go, which leaves them depleted. It is important to recharge the self with positive and joyful activities to avoid burnout. Write down the activities enjoyed before baby and find a way to engage in them again. It could mean a weekly babysitter or child exchange with friends so time is made for those activities.
- Asking for help with chores at home or tasks at work is an important step to avoid being overworked. Perfectionism, people pleasing, and overachieving get in the way of letting others help. If you identify with one of these personality quirks, then look deeper into why. How can you learn to trust that other people are capable too? Can you find ways to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty or afraid of losing a friendship?
After having a baby, a woman goes from having one full time job to two. While only one pays the bills, the other pays with love. Staying in the moment, recharging the self, and asking for help are just some of the ways a working mother can enjoy this payment of love fully.