Pregnancy Fears
Common Concerns of First-Time Moms

Welcome to new motherhood! Whether you are an experienced mom or a first-timer, it is normal to have anxieties and concerns during this exciting time. Most of the worries experienced by moms usually involve the birth itself, finding time for self and your partner, and being a “good” mom and coping with all the new demands of having a baby.

Childbirth Concerns

Fear of childbirth is common among moms-to-be. Most women have concerns about coping with pain, childbirth-related injuries and the possibility of having a cesarean section. Some moms have additional concerns due to previous life experiences such as sexual assault, having undergone invasive fertility treatments, previous traumatic birth experience or pregnancy loss.

Regardless of what drives your concerns about childbirth, preparing in advance for the birth by taking a comprehensive childbirth education class and discussing your wants and needs for labor and delivery with your health care provider can help increase the likelihood that you will have a positive birth experience. Consider working with a doula to assist you and your partner during the birth. Research shows that when moms have a doula present at the birth, they experience fewer invasive procedures and better emotional outcomes.

If after the birth of your baby, you have sad, anxious or angry thoughts about the birth that interfere with your life or your relationship with your baby, consider talking with a licensed mental health professional experienced in working with postpartum mothers. Taking this step can help you move forward from the experience, prepare for a more positive birth should you chose to have another child, and most importantly, to enjoy your time with your new baby.

Can I really do it all?

New moms quickly realize that between caring for a baby, maintaining their relationship with their partner and, for some, working outside the home, one of the first things they lose is the carefree ability to pursue a wide range of interests and activities. For some moms, things that used to be interesting no longer hold appeal. This can leave you feeling like it is hard to connect with yourself and your own interests. You might even begin to wonder if you will ever have time for yourself again.

Many moms find that it is helpful to connect with other moms through a moms’ group. These groups often focus on child-related activities like playgroups, but many also offer opportunities for moms to pursue new interests and connect with other women at the same phase of life. The Internet is a great resource for finding such groups.

Will my partner and I ever finish a conversation again?

Many couples are surprised and disappointed to learn how hard it is to find time to connect with one another once a baby arrives. Not surprisingly, most new couples (up to 67%) report a significant decrease in marital satisfaction during the year after a baby arrives, and this state of affairs can last until the youngest child enters kindergarten. Psychologists John and Julie Gottman have discovered that skills such as increasing positive communication, stating your needs in a kind but clear manner and making time to connect with one another as a couple can help keep your relationship strong.

I’m scared I won’t be a good mom!

Standards for today’s moms are higher than ever … and there are more options for how to parent your baby than ever … and like always, EVERYONE (from your mom to the stranger at the grocery store) has an opinion. To breastfeed or not, and if so, how long? Cloth diapers or disposables? Does organic food really matter? If you have the option to choose to not work outside the home, should you …or maybe work part-time? What type of childcare is the best fit for your family?  The questions and options are almost endless, and many new moms spend a lot of time second-guessing their decisions. Discussing your concerns with your partner, other new moms who share your parenting values, helpful family members and health care providers can help you feel confident and supported in your decision-making. Don’t hesitate to ask for help!

What if I develop postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression affects 1 in 8 new mothers, making it the most common side effect of pregnancy and childbirth. For many women, these symptoms actually start during pregnancy.  Many women also report significant feelings of worry and anxiety. Many women don’t seek assistance with these feelings, and if untreated, these symptoms can have a negative impact on how a woman views herself, as well as her relationships with her baby and her partner.

If sadness, fear and worry become overwhelming and begin to affect your quality of life, tell your healthcare provider and consider seeking counseling from a licensed therapist who is experienced in working with pregnant and postpartum mothers. Do it for you, and do it for your baby. Should you begin to have thoughts about yourself or your baby that frighten you or don’t make sense, or if you feel that you want to harm yourself or your baby for any reason at all, tell your health care provider and seek emergency assistance immediately.

Having a baby is a fun and exciting time! Surround yourself with caring and supportive family, friends and professionals to get the support you deserve during this amazing journey!

Editorial provided by Jennifer Harned Adams, PhD, a Clinical Psychologist in private practice in Denver, CO.

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