Momtourage
“Mom friends” who help you transition into motherhood
Wedding (check!), house (check!), extra bedroom (check!)… It seemed like the next logical step in life was a baby. And finally, after months of minus-minus pregnancy test readings…a plus and a minus!
A positive and a negative sign? What could possibly be negative about a baby?!
Nine months later… Feed baby (check!), burp baby (check!), change diaper (check!) … and repeat. My dreamy visions of playing dress-up with my baby girl and having long maternity-leave lunches with friends had gone poof with her first explosive diaper. Of course, I was thrilled to be a mom, but it was different than I thought it would be. I had this wonderful new little person, but I was lonely.
Someone suggested I try a stroller fitness class. I knew I was in need of social interaction, not to mention some post-pregnancy toning. So, after two outfit changes and a wrestling match with my stroller, I finally made it to class. One mom, with twins a little older than my daughter, approached me, “First time here, huh?” With a knowing wink she said, “Don’t worry, it gets easier.” She gave me some great tips for how to put my daughter on a schedule and, more importantly, the peace of mind that there were others out there, just like me.
From then on, it became my mission to surround myself with what I’ve realized all mothers simply must have - mom friends. I scoured the local parenting newspaper, found classes, and formed a playgroup with moms I had met in the stroller fitness class. My husband joked that I was out “picking up moms again.” Jokes aside, these mothers really became an essential part of my identity as a new mother. I craved the support that we could give one another as new parents, and the community that we were creating for our children and ourselves.
Your regular go-to gals are great, but they don’t have a baby yet. Your mom is a big help, but lots of things have changed since she raised you. Your husband tries, but he just can’t sympathize with you about how uncomfortable your nursing bra really is. Truly, there is no one better to commiserate with about your orange baby (too many sweet potatoes) than your new mom friends. I can promise you that no one will entertain these types of conversations with quite the same zest and enthusiasm.
Whether you take classes at a children’s enrichment facility, join a playgroup, go to a support group or simply strike up a conversation at the playground, the connections you make with other mothers will help make your transition into motherhood much easier. Seven years later, I can tell you that the pregnancy test was right; there are definitely both positives and negatives to becoming a new mother. Next to my beautiful daughter, the friendships that I have made with other new moms have been the biggest plus of all. A daily support system (check!), your other family (check!), friendships that will last a lifetime (check!) —that’s your “momtourage.”
