I have two bosses. They are both very demanding, always wanting to know what I'm doing, where I am and if I can drop everything to help them. They are constantly expecting me to complete tasks and clean up messes. These two never slow down or want to take a break. They run me ragged… they even follow me into the bathroom, talking the whole time! By the end of the day, I am exhausted, but I wouldn't have it any other way. The bosses in charge of my universe are my 3-year old identical twin girls, Leah and Rachel.
From the day the technician told me I was expecting twins at my 10 week ultrasound, I have felt like I hit the jackpot. To this day, I wonder how I was lucky enough to win this prize, to be rewarded with this awesome honor. At 17 weeks, when my husband and I found out that our twins were identical girls, I felt like I won the lottery a second time.
I won't lie. The pregnancy was tough. I was as big as a whale and could barely waddle from the bed to the bathroom in the last month. I was put on "part time" bed rest meaning I could work half a day and then had to spend the remainder of the day laying on the couch. It's not an easy thing to do if you're an expectant mom with a million tasks to finish before the babies arrive. I also had constant doctor appointments, ultrasounds, non-stress tests and regular check-ups.
Even with all the monitoring, my water broke at 7 months. Luckily, my girls were scrappers. They were born at 32 weeks and were, thankfully, perfectly healthy. They were just small, weighing in at 3 lbs, 15 oz. and 4 lbs, 5 oz. Leah and Rachel spent 2 weeks in the NICU (Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit) learning how to suck from a bottle and getting their core temperatures up to 98.6 degrees. We were very blessed. They needed no respirators or breathing tubes. They did not require oxygen or excess monitors. They just needed to grow a bit before we took them home.
I hate to be one of those "know-it-all, been-there, done-that" moms, but I do feel qualified to offer a few suggestions to moms expecting multiples. I don't have any special expertise or qualifications, just some first hand knowledge and experience.
First of all, be prepared for your twins to arrive early. I know a lot of twin moms. Few have went past 38 weeks. Many had to be on bed rest. Some had hospital stays to avoid early labor. I don't want to scare you. Just know it's a possibility. Choose a hospital with a NICU, just in case your babies are preemies.
One other piece of advice, if your kids do have a brief stay in the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit, use that time to rest and recover. Trust me, you will get no rest when they arrive home. Don't feel guilty for leaving their incubators or cribs for a few hours. Do yourself a favor: if your babies are doing well, go home and get a few good nights of sleep.
Two weeks after the early arrival of my twins, we took our girls home. That's when the fun began. Lots of mothers of multiples will tell you that they really don't remember the first few months of their kids' lives because of the constant activity and lack of sleep. It's totally true. You have cope by doing what works for you and your family. If that means setting up an organized feeding/ changing wall chart with check marks, do it. I must confess that I was never that organized. In fact, I think having the twins gave me a valid excuse for the chronic disorganization that has always ruled my life.
The first two or three months of Leah and Rachel's lives were a blur of mixing formula, warming up bottles, changing diapers, feeding babies and soothing crying spells. A lot of people told me: get them on the same schedule. Luckily, that was easy to do. I always fed the girls at the same time and put them down for naps and changed diapers at the same time. My rule was whoever cried first got the first bottle. Inevitably, before my first daughter was done with her bottle, my second would be crying. It did get a little easier about 2 months in when I could prop each on a boppy pillow and feed them at the same time.
Preemies are notoriously slow at feeding. I would get so frazzled when a half hour had gone by and each baby had only consumed half an ounce of formula. Check with your doctor to see how long feedings should last. Mine gave me the green light to cut them off after 30 minutes and let them catch up at the next bottle. Another piece of advice: give direct instruction to friends and family members on how they should feed your twin babies. Many people don't realized that preemies aren't always the most willing eaters and are ready to give up after five minutes with poor results.
The best thing you can do is nap when they nap. Everyone says this, not everyone does it. However, you cannot operate on 3 hours of sleep! If your babies wake up at 5 a.m. for a feeding that wraps up at 6 a.m., don't just get up for the day: go back to bed until the next feeding at 9 a.m. or 10 a.m. Moms need their sleep, too.
Now that my girls are three, I can look back at those first three months and say that was the roughest part of this whole twin parenting experience so far. (I hear the teenage years can be hell, too!) Trust me, it starts to get better right around that third month. My world changed when my daughters smiled. My oldest (by 11 minutes) flashed me her first real, genuine smile on Mother's Day. Her sister smiled the very next day. From that moment on, things started to get a little easier. They soon started sleeping in six hour blocks and I started to feel human again and really took the time to enjoy their smiles, giggles, screams and all the other milestones.
People say all kinds of goofy things to mothers of twins from the outrageous, "Did you take fertility drugs?" to the standard, "You've got your hands full!" However, the phrase that I appreciate the most is, "Oh twins, I always wanted to have twins." That comment always reminds me how wonderfully blessed I am to have my girls.