For the Father-to-Be
She’s pregnant, and getting all the attention. As the Father-To-Be, you wonder what your role is in the pregnancy and after delivery. You are excited about what’s to come, but may also be worried about her health, the baby, and paying for college. You may be feeling like you are on the sidelines, but actually, you have a very important role as a support person for her and the baby. Taking the time now to prepare will help ease the transition to parenthood for both of you. Here are some of the ways you can help out and show your support:
Before the Big Day
- Pregnancy can be a physically and emotionally difficult time for a woman. Her body is changing rapidly, and she may be feeling a lot of aches and pains. Participate in the day-to-day chores like the laundry or the dishes so she can put up her swollen feet. Back rubs and foot rubs help ease the aches and pains. Take a turn cooking healthy meals so she can nap.
- Be there for ultrasounds, the first prenatal visit, and routine appointments if you can. Go with her to any consultations the doctor may order—your family history is important to the health of your baby too!
- Prepare yourself for after the baby arrives by taking infant CPR classes or going to Daddy Boot Camp. These will make you feel more comfortable taking care of your baby later and allow you to contribute as a new dad.
- Accompany the mom-to-be to prenatal classes to learn how to best help her during labor. Learn how to identify and time contractions and what the signs of labor are, so you will know when it is time to go to the hospital.
- Help pick out a car seat for the baby, and learn how to install it. Get the installation checked by someone trained in car seat installation. Many local fire departments and hospitals have car seat installation specialists.
- Take a look at your finances, health insurance, life insurance policies, and medical leave policies. Identify what paperwork needs to be done ahead of time or at delivery to add the baby to your insurance, or allow for family medical leave.
- Participate in packing the hospital bag. Remember clothes for both of you, toiletries, an outfit and blanket for bringing the baby home, cameras, and anything that will help the Mom-to-be feel more comfortable or keep calm and focused during labor. Copies of the birth plan, tubal ligation consents, or any other important papers should be packed in the bag as well.
- Make a list of people to notify after the birth along with phone numbers. Remember to pack this in the hospital bag, and after the baby is born you will be able to easily notify grandparents, aunts and uncles, and close friends of the baby’s arrival!
The Big Day
- If you are her ride to the hospital, plan a route ahead of time. Know one or two alternative routes just in case there is an accident or construction. Drive carefully, and remember the bag for the hospital!
- During labor, being there as a support person is important. Respect her wishes as far as who she wants in the delivery room. Help her to change position, or support her as she walks in the hall with contractions. Ask the doctors and nurses what you can do to help her with pain. Assist during pushing with holding her leg, counting, or talking with her. Help her to stay focused. Be her advocate.
- You may be able to cut the umbilical cord after delivery. Make sure to let the doctors and nurses know if you want to.
- Get out those cameras to take pictures of the baby and Mom! One classic photo is the baby on the scale, so you can document the weight. Make sure you find out what the hospital policy is about videotaping and photography, as many hospitals do not allow video of the birth or photos during certain parts of the birth.
- Remember to make those phone calls! Make sure you find out what the hospital visitor policy is, and communicate how the two of you feel about visitors, as everyone will be anxious to meet the newest addition to the family!
After the Baby is Born
- Bond with your baby! Learn how to change diapers, adjust the pillows to help with breastfeeding, and how to give a bath. This will help you to be just as competent as mom and allow you to share in the joys and responsibilities of parenting.
- Take turns at night getting the baby when he or she cries. You can change a diaper and bring the baby to Mom for breastfeeding, or if bottle feeding handle it yourself. This will allow Mom to sleep more and will give you some special time for just you and the baby!
- Cook dinner. Do the dishes. Help out anyway you can. Take the first week or two off work if your job allows it. Working together with Mom will help get your family off to a great start.
Pregnancy and parenthood is a big adjustment for both of you. Remember to take time to be a couple, give her time for herself, and to take care of yourself as well. You are embarking together on the incredible journey of parenthood!