Labor & Delivery
What's a Dad to Do?
We have seen it in the movies and have heard the stories—the mad dash to the hospital as an expecting mother begins to go into labor. You see the father of the baby running around grabbing last minute belongings and making sure all that is needed is there, while he rushes to help the expecting mother get to the hospital. But, what really is going on in the father's head and if he is a first time dad, does he know what awaits him in the delivery room?
"It's an awesome day that goes on in the father's life, a day he will never forget," says Joyce Poplar, a certified childbirth educator, who has worked with the Childbirth and Education Program at Hillcrest Hospital for the past 25 years. Poplar states it is crucial for the expecting dad to be part of the entire preparation process.
"Dad needs to be supportive in their partner's needs," says Poplar. "The mom really needs to know and feel reassured that when it comes time for labor the father will be there for her both physically and emotionally."
Poplar encourages fathers to take a variety of classes so they are well rounded on the subject. Some hospitals offer a class that is geared specifically to dads: "Boot Camp" for New Dads. This program is particularly designed for first-time fathers, taught by veteran dads themselves. Poplar highly recommends the class since today both parents often go back to work and the better each parent is prepared, the easier the transition. During boot camp, fathers will learn how to arrange time off from work, why babies cry, how to understand the changes with mom and how to make the whole experience an adventure for the dad.
Classes such as Boot Camp for New Dads will help provide fathers the background and knowledge they may need when unsuspected events happen during delivery. Poplar explains, "You don't know what can happen. Unexpected events happen all the time during labor. Maybe the heart rate of the baby will go down, but if the father can hold his composure (especially with the first child) during these instances this will help the mother a great deal."
Expecting parents are encouraged to really talk about what they want pre-delivery. Poplar emphasized the need to make a plan so when labor hits its most intense moment, the father can support the mother and they can rely on the plan to get them through the most difficult times. There comes a point during labor when a line gets crossed, and when this happens the mother and father need to become a team. This is where the bond between mother and father also gets formed before the baby comes out. She will need the father 100 percent and the teamwork begins.
When asked what dads should do or not do, Poplar explained, "It really depends on what the mom is looking for from dad. This could include walking, deep massages, yoga classes or other wellness tools she wants to bring into the labor." Poplar suggests that fathers should refrain from eating during labor, as the expecting mother is hypersensitive to smells at this point, refrain from talking on the phone, and give the mother their full attention. She also suggests not answering questions on the mother's behalf, as she needs to be her own advocate and express how she feels or what she needs.
