Once the hard work of bringing baby into the world has been accomplished, new parents have the wonderful task of getting to know who this little person is and how he or she will become a part of their lives. The first several weeks after baby is home is a time of adaptation both for the parents and the new baby. New parents must adjust to changes in sleep schedules, emotions, and the physical changes that new babies bring. With a little forethought and planning, parents can weather these changes more smoothly.
One of the biggest changes new parents worry about is the change in sleep patterns that a newborn brings. New babies do sleep a lot, but their sleep cycles are different from adults and are related to how frequently their tummies empty and how they fall asleep compared to adults. New babies will sleep anywhere from 14-20 hours in a 24-hour period, but those periods of sleep throughout that day will likely be short and frequent. This in turn means that most newborns will wake several times at night to feed (and fill that diaper that was just changed!), something which is perfectly normal for this stage in development. Newborns also spend more time in "light sleep" than adults do, which means that it takes longer for them to get into that "deep sleep" phase. So what can new parents to do cope?
For new mothers, the saying is that when baby sleeps, mom sleeps. However many hours per night of rest parents needed before baby will be the same number of hours total (and likely a little more) parents should aim for after baby arrives to feel rested. So if a mother needed eight hours to feel rested before baby, then she needs to make sure she gets at least eight hours of rest total per day after baby arrives. Those hours are likely not to be gained all in one stretch, which means that napping or at least resting during the day is a must for a while. Parents need to keep the faith that this is a temporary situation. Keeping baby within arm's reach in the meantime can help new parents get the sleep they need. There are many possible sleeping arrangements new parents can try, such as co-sleepers which attach to the bed, bassinets, or even having the crib in the same room, which will help keep night-time waking periods to a minimum.
When baby is breastfed, spouses, partners, and other caregivers can also help out at night to ensure mother is getting rest. New babies can breastfeed as often as every 2-3 hours. Baby's cues will guide new parents to knowing how often their baby truly needs to feed. Once mom feeds baby, the other parent can then burp baby, change baby, and soothe baby back to sleep. If baby is formula-fed, either parent can take turns at night doing the feeding, changing, and soothing.
Family members or friends who would like to be helpful can do things to help ensure that the parents are getting rest and a chance to bond with their new baby. Frequently, family and friends want to visit the new parents and especially baby right after they've settled in at home, and this may actually be a source of stress. Thinking ahead and having things for family and friends to do (other than holding the baby) that parents don't mind handing over can prove useful, such as preparing meals, taking baby's older sibling out for a walk, picking up a video or a reading material, or doing a load of laundry. Just having someone bring an extra meal that parents can pop in the freezer for later is helpful. It is also perfectly acceptable for new parents not to have visitors until they feel they are ready. New parents have to be willing to let some things go that before baby they might get done everyday. Babies don't care that there are dishes in the sink and that laundry needs to be done. Babies do, however, need their parents to be rested and able to care for them.
Emotions are likely to be high after bringing baby home. New mothers, especially, are dealing with hormonal changes and physical changes as a result of the birthing experience. Up to 80% of all new mothers will get the "baby blues," which are temporary and generally don't last longer than about a week. Parents and those close to the family need to be aware of warning signs for other postpartum mood disorders and understand that there is help available to those who need it. New parents should to take time out for themselves each day, even if only 15 minutes, for something they enjoy. Parents also need to make sure they make time for each other and to nurture their relationship. Having a date night in and spending at least 15 minutes with each other while baby sleeps can be helpful.
When things get tough, new parents need to know whom they can call for help, whether it's a good friend, a relative, or a professional, such as a parenting crisis line. Parents should have their support person's numbers handy so that when they need them, they are easily found.
One resource many parents don't know about is the existence of postpartum doulas. A postpartum doula can help with many aspects of newborn and postpartum care, such as assistance with breastfeeding, caring for baby, light housework, preparing meals, and taking care of the new parents. These services are generally tailored to what the parents need and depend on the doula providing the service. A postpartum doula makes a fantastic shower gift.
Most parents have chosen how they plan to feed baby before they even welcome him or her into the world. Because of the benefits, many more new parents are now choosing to breastfeed their babies. While breastfeeding is normal and natural, there is a learning curve involved for both mother and baby. If any issues are going to develop with the breastfeeding relationship, they often have the tendency to appear once mother and baby are away from hospital support staff. New parents need be aware of their local resources for breastfeeding support, such as La Leche League and other groups whose goals are to foster successful breastfeeding relationships.
While most parents spend a lot of time thinking about the things they need to purchase to take care of baby such as diapers, cribs, clothes, etc., not as many new parents understand what life with new baby will really be like. Taking time to plan ahead and having a support system will ensure that everyone's daily needs are met and will make transition to being a new family much easier for new parents.
Great Book Resources:
Simkin, Whalley, and Keppler, Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn.
Sears and Sears, The Baby Book.
Sears and Sears, The Breastfeeding Book.
Pantley, The No-Cry Sleep Solution.
Karp, The Happiest Baby on the Block.
Gotsch, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.
Websites of interest:
| POEM (Perinatal Outreach and Encouragement for Moms): | www.poemonline.org |
| La Leche League International: | www.llli.org |
| La Leche League of Ohio: | www.lllohio.org |
| A Guide for Moms - Cleveland area resources: | www.crpn.net/guide%20for%20moms.html |
| DONA International (doula organization): | www.dona.org |
| Doula Network of Northeast Ohio: | www.doulaneo.com |
Postpartum Warning Signs
Call doctor if you have these in first month after birth.
Emotional Warning Signs for Mom (excerpted from www.transitiontoparenthood.com by Janelle Durham):
Baby Blues |
Postpartum Depression |
Postpartum Psychosis |
|---|---|---|
25-80% of new moms have baby blues. |
10-15% of new moms. |
.1 – .2% of new moms. |
May be weepy, crying easily over little things. |
Any baby blues symptoms, plus Feel tired all the time, want to sleep all the time. |
Any of the other symptoms, plus |
May start 3-5 days after birth. Fades after a few weeks. (After 2 weeks, may be PPD) |
Often begins 2-12 weeks after baby is born. Can begin anytime in first year, or when breastfeeding baby is weaned. |
May begin anytime in the first year, or when breastfeeding baby is weaned. |
Newborn Warning Signs
If you see any of these signs in a baby under 1 month of age, contact the baby's doctor.