Making a Birth Plan
Questions to Consider
Making a birth plan is a lot like planning an event but with some big differences—you wind up with a new person or persons who will share your life for a very long time!
Preparing for birth is very much like getting ready to run a marathon –it is both a physical and psychological experience. Like any life event, it does not always go exactly the way you thought it might go. Making a birth plan can help you think through some of the issues you may encounter in this amazing process. As you answer these questions, keep in mind that there are no right or wrong answers to the questions; they have to be right for you and your partner.
What do you want most from this birth?
After we all agree that a healthy baby is the most important outcome, you may want the labor to be over in less than three hours (highly unlikely!) or you may just want to know what it is like to push your baby out by yourself. Perhaps you will want to hold your baby as soon after birth as possible. Think of the one or two things that are really important, and write them down. If you have already had a baby, you may have different ideas about what you want most from this birth.
What do you fear most?
We know from our childbirth classes that most women fear the pain of the labor. However, a very wise educator tells us that pain is not the enemy –fear is. As you prepare for birth, you learn more about how your body works during labor and may find that pain is no longer at the top of the list. Or you may fear the idea of losing control, your partner may not get there on time, or your healthcare provider may not be there for the birth. Once you prioritize your fears and talk about them with a supportive person, you will feel more confident.
What is your ideal birth scenario?
Let your imagination take you away on this one. Forget about all the stories you have heard from well-meaning people. Turn off the “Baby Story” on TV, and think about what you would love to have happen during your own labor and birth. This is a great exercise, and it will give you a starting point.
Who do you want with you during labor/birth? What do you expect from these people?
Two of my daughters gave birth this year, and each approached this question differently, and so will you. When you are in labor, you will want people who can really support you. There is a difference between support people and visitors. Support people give you back rubs, sponge you, breathe with you, tell you are doing a great job and are there for you. Visitors come to watch you, but not to help. When my daughter gave birth in October, with my son-in-law, I was one of her support people. Her mother-in-law attended as a visitor, watching quietly as the birth of her granddaughter unfolded. Her mother-in-law was so moved by watching the whole beautiful process that it has deepened her relationship with my daughter and, as an added bonus, with me!
How will you cope if things go differently than you planned?
Welcome to parenting 101! This is one of your first challenges of being a parent. If Plan A does not work, what is your Plan B? Can you be flexible? Think about your coping skills and those of your partner. When things do not go as expected, who will lead the way?
What images do you and your partner have of birth?
Do you see birth as a natural process or as a medical event? Have you had the opportunity to take a childbirth class where you can put the images you have about birth into perspective? Expectant couples have many images of birth, and the media often gives them a sensational edge. Many of our parents who attend classes tell us that by coming to class and working with a professional, they can sort information into something that makes sense to both of them and build up their confidence.
How do you feel about an IV? How do you feel about fetal monitoring?
These are just two of the medical procedures that are available in labor. Take the time to learn about all obstetrical procedures and the pros and cons of each. If you are a healthy person and your labor has been without complications, you might feel differently from a woman who has medical issues or complications of pregnancy. Talk to your care provider and ask about the pros and cons of each procedure. Keep the lines of communication open with him/her; the communication and trust that you have with your care provider will serve you well.
What do you want from your midwife or doctor? What do you expect from your hospital?
If you have a birth plan, it is really important that your care provider is familiar with it. He or she needs to know what you expect from him/her and you, in turn, should know what they expect from you. If you are in sync with your care provider, you can concentrate on your labor and birth with your “team” and know that you are in great hands. Don’t overlook asking your care provider about the hospital where you expect to give birth. While few women anticipate problems, ask if they a comprehensive maternal-fetal medicine service. How comprehensive is their pediatric service? How accommodating will they be for your particular birth plan? What support do they give to mothers and their newborns for breastfeeding? The more informed you are, the more in control and confident you and your partner will be about your birth process.
Having a baby is a powerful experience that stays with us for as long as we are here. Many say that it often defines us as women and how we will live our lives and parent our children. Labor and birth are not often our “ideal,” but it is up to us as women to take it, make it ours, and do the very best we can for our children and ourselves. And, if you are lucky enough to come back and do it again, you will be asking yourself many of these questions again, because each birth is unique. I wish you a happy birth day!
