Managing a Multiple Birth Pregnancy
If you recently found out you are expecting multiples, you are probably overwhelmed with a flurry of questions swirling in your head about carrying multiples and preparing for parenthood times two, three, or even more. The following pointers should help you to focus on the most important aspects of preparing for your multiples:
Find an expert. A multiple birth pregnancy is inherently more risky than a singleton pregnancy. This does not mean that it is inevitable that you will experience complications, as many mothers of multiples have uneventful and uncomplicated pregnancies and births. However, it is still wise to consult with a Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist, also referred to a perinatologist, in conjunction with your regular OB-GYN. These specialists can monitor you for any early signs of possible complications, increasing the likelihood of early and successful intervention should anything adverse occur.
Listen to your body. Your doctor likely will encourage you to call the office if anything "feels weird." As a first-time mother, though, everything "feels weird" because you haven't experienced pregnancy before! Many expectant mothers, including those expecting multiples, are hesitant to call their doctor or make a visit to Labor and Delivery at the risk of sounding a false alarm or looking like an over-concerned first-time mother. Don't let this happen to you! It is always better to be safe than sorry; doctors and nurses are there to insure everything is going smoothly, so it is part of their job to check on any of your concerns. Especially in a multiple birth pregnancy where there is a greater likelihood of complications, I have met too many mothers who told me they wished they listened to their bodies and their instincts when something started to go wrong, since early intervention can make a big difference. On the other hand, I have never met a mother who told me she was sorry she went in to Labor and Delivery for a "false alarm." Remember, better safe than sorry.
Prepare yourself with information. A multiple birth pregnancy comes with some potential special circumstances, including extended bed rest, cesarean birth, and a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) stay for the babies. While none of these situations are inevitable, it is better to prepare yourself for any contingencies. Consider in advance how you will manage if put on bed rest (e.g., examine your employer's long term disability policy, figure out any arrangements for pets, etc.) Talk to your doctor about his or her views and policies on c-section vs. vaginal delivery for multiples and ask for an explanation of how the delivery will proceed in either situation, as often even vaginal deliveries take place in an operating room in case an emergency c-section becomes necessary. Finally, tour your hospital's NICU so that you are familiar with the setting should your babies need special care. Seeking out this sort of information ahead of time can prevent any unnecessary and unexpected surprises.
Seek out Support. In preparing for the arrival of multiples, the number one piece of advice I always give expectant parents is to seek out support. Once the babies arrive, help in the form of prepared meals, running errands, housekeeping or feeding a baby will help make the transition into parenthood more manageable. This help can come in a number of different forms including family, friends, members of your church or synagogue, etc. In addition, you may decide to hire professional help such as a night nurse, doula or other form of assistance for after the babies arrive. Think carefully about what type of help you will need: if you are planning to try to nurse your babies, a night nurse might not be of much assistance since you will be up at night feeding the babies, anyway. Instead, you may want someone to do housework while you focus on taking care of the babies and resting. If you plan to try to nurse, it is important to find a good lactation consultant with experience with multiples before you give birth, and arrange for them to visit you in the hospital as well as when you return home with the babies. Research the different types of professional help available and decide what fits best with your family and needs. Look for someone who has experience with multiples, and don't be afraid to change your mind once the babies arrive and you discover you need help in different areas.
Your local Parents of Multiples Club is an excellent resource for support and advice. Clubs often host events for expectant parents where you can seek out advice of "experienced" parents of multiples, and have a "sunshine committee" that can arrange for meals and other support if you are on bed rest, if your babies are in the NICU, and once your babies are home. Try to connect with other parents of multiples who can give you practical pointers and maybe even the chance to spend some time with them to see firsthand the reality of life with multiples.
The most important piece of advice for anyone expecting multiples is to enjoy every moment of the experience, even if it is challenging and overwhelming at times. It will get easier and the rewards of raising multiples will fast outweigh any of the challenges.
