Questions to Ask When Experiencing Infertility
Confronting an infertility or secondary infertility diagnosis can be frightening, and because research and technologies change so often, it can also be very overwhelming and confusing. When I see a client for the first time, they are often so overcome with the emotions of not being able to conceive, they cannot even begin to think through the next steps with a clear head, or heart.
In addition to the emotions involved, infertility is intimidating to most of my clients because it’s typically not openly talked about amongst family and friends and most couples have no clue where they should begin, or what the infertility process looks like.
I always arm my clients with a comprehensive list of questions they should ask their doctor. This is a good first step in being your own best advocate through the infertility process. Some of these important questions include:
- What is your success rate in achieving pregnancies in women of my age and with my diagnosis?
This is one of the most important questions to ask. Infertility diminishes with age, and so do success rates. Make sure the statistics cited by your prospective fertility doctor apply in your circumstances, not those of a woman 10 years younger. And be wary of doctors who provide extremely high success rates just to get your business. Ask your friends, gynecologist or an outside infertility consultant what they know about the doctor or clinic.
- What are the latest and greatest technologies in the infertility field and do you have access to them?
New advances in the infertility field are being launched everyday and physicians aren’t always up-to-speed on the newest technologies since they change so often. Ask your potential physician what they know about these procedures and if they offer them in their practice. Then do your own research, or ask an outside resource, so you know about all options available.
- When can I start treatments and what are your office hours?
While these may sound like minor questions, some clinics only accept a certain number of patients at a time. If you want to start right away, you might not be happy with a clinic that needs you to wait until your next treatment cycle begins. It is also important to find out if the clinic is open when you are available. It is likely that you will need repeated ultrasounds and blood tests, and you will just add stress to the situation if you have to schedule work around your clinic's hours.
- At what age, or after how many failed cycles, do you recommend the use of donor eggs or a surrogate?
Fertility centers and specialists vary in their approach; the answer also will depend on your age, diagnosis and history of live births. It can be useful to know your prospective doctor’s views and whether a prospective fertility practice would be able to locate an egg donor or surrogate should you need one.
- What will this cost?
Talking about costs is always a dreaded topic, but you must be clear on everything that you will be charged for, especially if your insurance is not covering your treatments. Ask about the cost of office visits, additional testing and potential medications. Some physicians even charge you by the hour for phone calls / consults so ask about this as well.
