Adjusting to Motherhood

If you're reading this article to learn what to pack in your diaper bag or which exercises you can do after delivery, stop reading. This article is designed to give you some mental caveats to take into motherhood, especially if you're planning to be the stay-at-home variety for any length of time.

Motherhood is a job that, until you do it yourself, is a bit of a mystery. You won't understand how intense, how emotional, or how hard it is until the job is yours. The following are just four suggestions on how you might help keep your outlook healthier and you and your family a little happier.

Adjust your expectations and stay flexible.
Babies are unpredictable little creatures. You may already have plans to accomplish home projects, work from home, or just do some housecleaning when your new little bundle arrives. My guess is that things won't happen exactly the way you envision them. Stay as flexible as you possibly can and don't take on more unnecessary chores than you can actually accomplish. The same thing goes for outside-the-home commitments. This may not be the ideal time to join the homeowners' association. Remember that your most important role is to mother your child.

Bottom line: Put down your day planner and go with the mother-baby flow.

Don't sacrifice everything.
Just because you have a new baby, it doesn't mean you have to sacrifice everything you need or enjoy. It should go without saying that all mothers need to take care of themselves with enough sleep (at least attempt to get enough), good food, and some quiet time alone to recharge their battery.

Yes, you will be making some big sacrifices when you become a mother, but don't give up the farm. If you enjoy reading, scrapbooking, or just chatting with friends over coffee, make room for this on a regular basis. Not only will you look forward to it, you will be refreshed by the time you spend on a favorite activity. And you must take this time away guilt-free. It doesn't work if you insist on feeling guilty. In turn, your family will be rewarded with a calmer, happier you.

Bottom line: Regularly come up for air and get some quality ‘you' time.

Break projects down into smaller tasks.
Like the rest of us, you have a hundred things you want to accomplish. Whether it is updating your address book, reorganizing your kitchen, or even just folding laundry, there is a way to get a project completed when you have a new baby. By breaking the task into much smaller parts, you will likely avoid getting overwhelmed. Take just 10 to 15 minutes to work on that project. Do some small part of it: update just the A's in your address book or clean out just one drawer in your kitchen. That's it. You've accomplished something. Keep working like this and you will be surprised at how quickly your undertaking will be finished.

Bottom line: Take smaller bites of anything you need to accomplish.

Connect with other mothers.
When I became a mother, nothing my husband could have done for me gave me as much comfort as finding women going through precisely what I was experiencing. While there are plenty of Internet-based motherhood support groups, you can't go to a playgroup with someone who lives in another time zone. I needed faces — real moms who understood. Different organizations have playgroups, Mom's Nights Out, holiday parties, and monthly meetings that are chock full of socializing and important information. Evening events are kid-free and daytime events are always kid friendly. There are also neighborhood mothers' groups and local parenting support groups you might join. The key is to regularly connect with other mothers.

Bottom line: Find your colleagues and don't let yourself get isolated.

There is no mistaking that motherhood is a job — a job that requires your attention, patience, and instincts 24/7. If you don't allow yourself to get overwhelmed by what is already the toughest job around, you will be a healthier, happier mom — something every child needs.

 

Provided by Nassly Sales, founder & co-leader of Mothers & More - Hudson County Chapter. The author of the article is Janet Katz, the stay-at-home mother of Anna, 4, and Lila, 1. She is a member of Mothers & More, a non-profit organization for sequencing women—women who have altered their career paths to care for their children.