Becoming "Mom"
A New Point of View

Becoming a new mother looks different depending on your point of view. If you haven’t had the baby yet:

“I’ll get to be off for 12 weeks—that sounds like a long time.”

“I’ll be able to get so much done around the house.”

“I’ll have time to go to lunch with my best friend.”

Then only several months later after your baby is born is, the view is…well, different!

“I’m always changing diapers, baby’s clothes or my clothes.”

“Will this baby ever stop eating?? I’d like to have some lunch too.”

“My life has changed so much more than his.”

How does a new mom learn this new job??
There really is no orientation manual. They go to a pediatric group, see a different doctor each time, and get different advice. There’s a lot of information on the internet; sometimes too much information. New mothers are surrounded by so much advice—who should they listen to?

And here’s the hard part. She is doing this new job alone. A lot of new mother’s get help for a weekend or a week or two weeks if they are lucky. But ultimately, it’s just the two of them and it feels…lonely.

New mothers need good information, but they also need a new set of friends. Friends who understand what they are going through. Friends who make them feel like they are not alone.

How can new mothers meet?
New mothers’ groups can really help with connecting new mothers to each other. And new mothers can help each other sort through all the advice and information out there.

At a new mother’s group, you will find that you can:

• watch how other mothers handle their babies.
• tell each other about what new baby products that have been found to be most helpful.
• understand when another mother says, “I didn’t get a shower yet today” or “the baby was up a lot last night and I’m really tired.”
• Laugh…and cry together.
• They can reassure each other— “That happened to us too!”

When mothers join a new mothers group they have a lot in common, just because they have a new baby. They can also share other enjoyable activities like:

• Walking in the mall—babies in strollers or slings.
• Taking turns hosting a playgroup at their house.
• Making homemade baby food together.
  Celebrating your children’s birthdays together.
• Keeping in touch by e-mail, or on Facebook!

It’s really good to have a new mother as a friend when:

• You need some help in an emergency, or some reassurance in the middle of a particularly stressful day.
• You’d like to trade childcare, so you can get a night out with your significant other, and it can’t cost an arm and a leg, because you’re not working now!!
• You want to get some sympathy or share your latest triumph as a new mother!!

How do you find a new mother’s group?

• Ask your pediatrician
• Community bulletin boards
• Internet search
• Newsletters, newspapers and magazines that publish local activities
• Talk to other new mothers.

Editorial provided by Diana Cooper RN, BSN, Edith Davidson RN IBCLC, and Gail Jackson RN, BSN, maternal child health nurses at Heritage Valley Sewickley. They also coordinate a new mother’s group that meets in Moon Township, PA.