Sex During Pregnancy
Congratulations! You’re going to have a baby. While you and your
partner may be feeling happy and excited about the newest member of your
family, you both know this will mean many changes in your relationship
as a couple.
This information helps parents-to-be understand the changes they will
face as sexual partners during the pregnancy and after the baby’s
birth. It also can help to begin discussions between the two of you, which
are always important, but are especially so now. It is not meant to replace
the information provided by your doctor.
Early pregnancy (first trimester)
You may notice changes in your sexual activity during the earliest weeks
of pregnancy. Physical discomfort is very common for women at this time.
You may feel very tired, nauseous, or experience some vomiting. The feeling
that you need to go to the bathroom often (urinary frequency) also is
very common. Your breasts may feel very tender, even painful to the touch.
These symptoms result from changes in your hormones and blood circulation
caused by your pregnancy.
Tiredness, nausea, and urinary frequency affect your sexual desire and
activity. Few people, pregnant or not, are interested in sex when they
are tired or don’t feel well. Along with physical discomfort, you
also may worry that sexual intercourse can cause a miscarriage. Intercourse
or other types of sexual activity will not cause a miscarriage in a normal,
healthy pregnant woman. However, if you have cramps or vaginal bleeding,
or have had more than one miscarriage, talk with your doctor.
If your doctor advises you not to have sexual intercourse, you may express
your love and desire in other ways such as oral/genital sex and masturbation.
However, avoid forcefully blowing air into the vagina during oral sex
since an air bubble (called an air embolus) can enter the blood stream
of the pregnant woman. This can be dangerous to the mother.
In rare cases, your doctor may advise against all forms of sexual activity
that result in orgasm. During an orgasm, rhythmic, muscular contractions
occur in the uterus. Sometimes, these contractions may have a harmful
effect on your pregnancy.
Mid-pregnancy (second trimester)
The second trimester of pregnancy is usually a time when the expectant
mother feels at her best physically, emotionally, and sexually. As your
energy returns, you may notice an increase in sexual desire and activity.
At this stage in your pregnancy, there is an increased blood flow to the
entire pelvic area, including the vagina. There also is an increase in
the amount of lubrication (wetness) in your vagina. This is the same thing
that happens to your body during sexual arousal. As a result, you may
notice that you are more easily aroused, and more interested in sex than
ever before.
While this is very common during midpregnancy, some expectant fathers
may feel uncomfortable. As always, it is very important to discuss your
feelings openly and honestly.
Late pregnancy (third trimester)
The overall sense of physical, emotional, and sexual well-being usually
continues into the third trimester. However, as the due date approaches,
you may again notice a decrease in sexual desire and activity. Fatigue
may again become a problem. Simple activities such as getting in and out
of bed or standing and walking may be very tiring. Body movements during
lovemaking may become so tiring that you avoid all sexual activity.
As your baby grows, you and your partner both may worry again that sexual
activity may hurt the baby. The contractions of an orgasm might feel like
labor contractions. If your baby moves around a lot, you might think he
or she has been harmed in some way.
Remember that your baby is well-protected high up in your pelvis and well-cushioned
by the “bag of waters”(amniotic fluid) surrounding it. Most
doctors do not restrict sexual activity for the normal, healthy pregnant
woman. Most permit sexual intercourse, oral/genital sex, and masturbation
up to the time of delivery, or for as long as you feel well and healthy.
However, if you notice any bleeding, or if the amniotic sac breaks, do
not have intercourse. Call your doctor immediately.
The uterine contractions that normally occur during orgasm may last for
a while and feel rather strong. Although these contractions are normal
and not harmful, some women may find them uncomfortable and avoid orgasm
for that reason.
Sexual positions
As your baby grows and your uterus becomes larger, you may need to adjust
your position for intercourse. The “man on top” position may
be too uncomfortable because of his weight on your abdomen. Try other
positions, like the “woman on top,” on your sides, facing
each other, or the rear entry position, either on your sides or on your
hands and knees.
Oral/genital sex and masturbation are also fine and may be especially
appropriate toward the very end of pregnancy, when the baby may feel so
large and low that intercourse is very uncomfortable.
Breast tenderness
You may notice that your breasts are very tender. Kissing or sucking them
(stimulation) may be too uncomfortable. It also may cause the release
of fluid from your nipples, called colostrum. This is normal and harmless.
However, it may be unpleasant for some couples. Breast or nipple stimulation
can cause uterine contractions by releasing a hormone called oxytocin.
These contractions are usually harmless. However, if you have a history
of premature labor you should discuss the safety of breast or nipple stimulation
with your doctor.
While sexual activity may decrease, your need for love and understanding
from each other increases. Showing your love and support are especially
important during the last days of pregnancy as sexual activity declines.
Remember you love each other. Remember to say so.