Bringing Home A Baby Brother or Sister
Tips for Preparing a Sibling for Baby's Arrival
Bringing a new baby home from the hospital can be both a joy and a challenge for many families. It can be especially challenging if you are bringing a newborn home to a brother or sister. Preparing a sibling for the arrival of a new baby can make the transition much less stressful on the entire family.
Try to imagine from the perspective of your older child. A new baby requires so much of your attention and time, your older child may feel left out.
Here are some suggestions to help you ease the transition:
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Be honest with your child.
Things will never be the same after the baby's arrival, so don't promise that they will be. Explain that sometimes the baby will be happy and playing, and other times he/she will cry. Babies demand a lot of time and attention for feedings, diapering and daily care. However, explain how the big brother and sister can help parents with these tasks. -
Share feelings.
Your young child may not be able say "I'm jealous when you hold the baby," but they will let you know how they feel by their actions. Acknowledge that you know it's hard to share. If your child suggests sending the baby back to the hospital, empathize with his/her desire, but be clear that the baby is a member of the family and won't be going anywhere. Let your child know that it is OK to be upset with the baby, but it is never OK to yell at or physically harm the baby. Offer him/her an alternative: "If you feel upset with the baby, come talk to me about it and I will give you a big hug." -
Discuss your new baby early.
Wait awhile into your pregnancy before telling your child about the arrival of a new baby. Nine months is a very long time to expect a child to understand and wait for something. When you are starting to show, your child may ask questions about your growing belly. Let your child feel the baby's movements in your stomach. There are many wonderful picture books for children that explain pregnancy, birth and families in a way that children can understand. Your physician or hospital also may offer sibling preparation classes and tours of the maternity wing. -
Encourage your child to help you prepare for the baby.
Take your child with you when you go shopping for the new baby. Let your child help launder and put away the newborn clothes and bedding. Let him/her play with some of the clothes and toys. Allow your child's baby doll can wear some of your newborn clothes. Also, be sure to move your older child into his/her new room or bed months before the baby's arrival. -
Reminisce with your older child.
Help your older child understand that he/she was a baby at one time just like your newborn. One way to do this is by looking through family photo albums together and telling stories about your child's first year of life. -
Enlist the help of other family members and friends.
Ask them to be sure to give special attention to your older child as well. Suggest to friends and family members that they bring a gift for him/her. -
Prevent regression.
New big brothers and sisters often regress and start to mimic newborn behaviors when a baby is introduced into the home. Toilet accidents or asking for a bottle are common ways your older child will seek your attention with a newborn at home. -
Set aside special time for your older child.
As busy as you are caring for your new baby, set aside some time each day specifically for you and your older child. Read a story, play a game, cuddle or just talk. Let him/her enjoy some of your undivided attention. Include him/her when the baby needs you too by turning feeding time into a time to read or cuddle for all. Some families create a "nursing box" with special toys and treats that are only available when mom is nursing the baby. Rotate the treats often to maintain your child's interest in this special box. -
Let dad have special time.
While mom is nursing and caring for the baby, dad can take this opportunity to spend some special time with the older siblings. -
Praise often.
Praise your older child when he/she is helpful or gentle with the baby. Encourage their relationship and let them explore one another. Point out how the baby smiles or coos when your older child plays with the baby.
Planning and preparation can help make the addition of a baby brother or sister much easier for both the parents and the siblings. But regardless of how well you prepare, everyone will need to make adjustments with the arrival of a new baby. Your older child will learn by your words, actions and affection that there is plenty of love for both him/her and the new baby. As time passes, he/she will learn to value and enjoy family life with a new sibling.
