When The Blues Get Really Blue!
Help for Postpartum Depression
Birth is a time of excitement and joy. It is also a time of overwhelming work and concern about having total responsibility for a helpless infant. The image of new parents which we so often see in magazines or childbirth classes is of an ideal couple, looking rested, well-dressed, nuturing and supportive, and devoted only to the new baby. This picture is usually far from reality.
Birth is a challenging and often painful experience. Mom is tired and uncomfortable, and while trying to learn a new set of skills, including breastfeeding, how to get the car seat into the car, how to work the baby sling, and a variety of other tasks demanding immediate attention.
Mothers may not instantly fall in love with their infants. It is not uncommon, in the first few days, for a mother to feel like she is babysitting the infant. The bond of love and commitment usually blossoms over the first weeks, and then continues to grow with the experiences of parenting.
As many as 8 out of 10 mothers will go through some period of blues or feeling down during these first days. The house may be a mess, there's no time to clean or cook, family and friends may come at exactly the wrong time, or not come at all, intending to give mom some space, but instead leaving her feeling unsupported. In other words, everything in the woman's life has changed, and even though the change was something she wanted and eagerly anticipated, it is not unexpected for her to feel frustrated, confused, or even let down.
- Give yourself permission to devote yourself only to caring for the baby.
- Ask for help–whatever kind you need.
- Talk with your partner, family, and friends about how you are feeling.
- Be realistic.
For about 1 out of 10 mothers, the feelings of sadness or depression do not go away in a couple of weeks, but last for more than a month. If so, this may be indicative of a postpartum depression. This is not a sign of weakness or failure. It is a biological and psychological condition, which may be related to changes in hormones, brain chemicals, or other factors we do not fully understand. When a mother is depressed, it affects her, her family, and the baby's growth and development. Depression should not be disregarded or dismissed. It requires attention and treatment for the health of the family.
Signs of depression may include:
- Feeling “down” almost every day
- Being unable to enjoy your baby
- Losing or gaining a lot of weight without trying
- Sleeplessness
- Feeling worthless or guilty
- Feeling very anxious and worried
Depression can also be a scary feeling. A few mothers come to fear that they will hurt themselves or the baby. These feelings are a call for help. If they happen to you, be sure you immediately contact someone to be with you, and then seek treatment. If others seem to dismiss your concerns, ask a trusted family member or friend to help you find medical attention and treatment. Keep asking until you get the help you need. Postpartum psychosis is a major psychiatric disorder that is quite rare, but requires immediate care.
There are treatments for all of these depressive conditions. Don't expect to do it alone. You need help from family, friends, and health care providers. Counseling may help. Medication may be needed. You cannot wish this away.
Where can you find help:
- Talk to your obstetrician or your pediatrician
- Call the referral line offered by area hospitals or insurance groups
- Call a nurse answer phone line
- Call the life crisis phone line
Get support. Get help. You can get through these days and find joy in your family and your life.
