A Father's Job Description
The birth of one’s child is a magical moment. Looking back at the birth of my only child, Benjamin, over twenty-five years ago, I knew then that my life would be forever changed. The words of Henry George Felson capture the essence of my experience. “The night you were born, I ceased being my father’s boy and became my son’s father. That night I began a new life.” Not only had my partner and I created a new person, my son created a new man.
Study after study shows the importance of fatherhood and the key role that dads play in their children’s growth and development. Children who have involved responsible fathers do better across the board in all areas of their lives. Dads indeed matter in the lives of their children whether, they be married, single, separated or divorced.
So what are the key roles that good fathers fulfill? In my work with dads as a parent educator, we focus on four critical roles that fathers play in the lives of their children: provision; protection; nurturance; and teaching. I would like to share, if you will, a father’s job description.
Provision
Raising a child is not cheap. Responsible fathers provide, to the best of their ability, for their children’s financial well-being. But we are not talking of money alone. Children have many needs such as safety, acceptance, having the opportunity to explore their environment, trust, and attention. Good fathers are aware of their children’s needs and interact with them in developmentally appropriate ways to ensure that they are met. Young children are dependent on their caregivers to see that their needs are met. As they develop, we teach them how to meet their own needs and thus providing them a sense of personal power.
Protect
Involved fathers create safer environments for their children through childproofing, supervision, redirection, and teaching. They are aware that, while stages of growth and development lead to new learning and opportunity, they also create new dangers. Did you know that children with involved fathers have a 20 to 30 percent less likelihood of experiencing accidents, injuries, or accidental poisonings? Freud said, “I could not point to any need in childhood as strong as that for a father’s protection.” Keep your children safe and secure.
Nurturance
Dads and their children need to bond. Children need their father’s love, nurturing touch, and affirmations. They need dad to be an active participant in their care and development. Involvement demonstrates love. Be involved early and stay involved. Change diapers, give baths, read stories, and above all, play with your children. Children need our time and attention. They need to know that they are your number one priority.
Teaching
A child will learn more from their parents than any other person they ever come in contact with. Dads need to embrace the role of teacher. To quote George Herbert, “One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.” There are so many “teachable moments” in our children’s lives. Studies on brain research indicate that embracing these moments enhance brain development and all future learning. Sadly, when these windows of opportunity are missed, we do not get them back. Be present in your children’s lives.
There you have it, a job description for dads! Does it appear a little overwhelming? Are you experiencing the beginnings of a panic attack? Relax. You are not expected to have all the answers and to know everything. We are fortunate to be blessed with many parenting and family support services in our area. Check your community out. There might be a father’s group, parenting program, or other type of family support program waiting for you to get involved with right around the corner. Happy Fathering!