Feeling Sexy After Pregnancy
You’re exhausted. Your favorite things to wear are sweats and fuzzy socks. Your hair is held back in a ponytail and you can’t remember if you brushed your teeth this morning. To top it off, you are covered in dried baby food and there is a yet to be identified substance caked under your fingernails. “Sexy” is not the first word that would come to mind if asked to describe yourself.
As a new mother you may want to feel sexy again and regain the desire you once had, but the stress of sleepless nights, a fussy baby, and the challenges of motherhood take center-stage. You may feel doomed to walk the rest of your days in faded sweats and unplucked eyebrows. There are ways, however, to bring back that sexy gal you once were and find the desire you long for. The following is a list of things to do, as well as not to do, to get your “sexy” back:
DO:
Have your doctor check the appropriate hormones
Ask to have your TSH, Free T4 and Free T3 tested. An under-active thyroid, low or high cortisol, low progesterone, low or high estradiol, low DHEA, and low testosterone levels can all wreak havoc on our bodies and directly affect our level of sexual desire. Susan Merenstien, owner of Murray Avenue Apothecary, and a licensed pharmacist of thirty years, states “Sexuality is probably the most widely known area controlled by hormones”. She says that the amount of women that come to her for hormone balancing consultations is staggering; all suffering from weight gain, fatigue, low libido and mood swings. Thankfully, there are ways to get your hormones back in check! Finding what your levels are is the first step to getting proper treatment. Another upside is that your partner will no longer be able to accuse you of “being hormonal”.
Take time for yourself
Most moms give and give to their babies, work and families, but tend to neglect themselves. Try taking a bubble bath, reading, or meditating to relax and recharge. You can call this “Mommy’s Time Out.” Tell your husband that your purpose for this is to get back to your old sexy self. Chances are he’ll agree to entertain the kids for a lot longer.
Act “as if” you are sexy! (Also called “fake it ‘till you make it”)
This is a helpful expression when you want to feel an emotion or attitude that you are having a hard time conjuring. The idea is if you imitate confidence you will eventually truly feel confidence. So, act “as if” you are the sexiest and most desirable woman in the world, and sooner or later, you will come to feel that way!
Pick something to do for yourself that makes you feel better about your appearance
If you feel sexy with painted toes, then go for it. Maybe throwing on some tinted moisturizer, mascara and gloss perks you up. The trick is to find what makes you feel sexy.
Buy yourself some flattering lingerie
There are baby doll nighties and waist-cinchers that can help slim your midriff and highlight that great cleavage. For those who have had C-sections, there are lingerie options for you as well!
Appreciate your partner
Sometimes parents get so caught up with life in our new roles as parents, trips to the grocery store and fighting over who sleeps less become the focus of their relationships. One way to gain perspective is this interesting mental activity: Look at your husband with the same eyes you did when you first met. Recall your first date, the excitement from the first phone call, the first “I love you”. This will help rouse those sleepy butterflies in your stomach.
DON’T:
Let those negative tapes play in your head
You know the ones, “I look awful, who would want me?” and, “I’ll never look good again”. Be forgiving to your postpartum body; it took nine months to get to the birth, now expect it to take at least that to get back to your pre-pregnant state. Better yet, celebrate your new physical self! Curves are sexy! Plus, marvel at the amazing accomplishment your body just pulled off; you are the epitome of woman! Now go to a mirror, stand in front of it, pick a part of your body that you like, and tell yourself how sexy you are. Remember, this is all about the attitude!
Make self-deprecating comments out loud
Not only does it make others feel uncomfortable, it only serves to reinforce those negative thoughts. What would you say to your best friend if you heard her make those comments about herself? Tell her that she is being ridiculous, right? So treat yourself with the same compassion and kindness.
Try to get back into your pre-pregnancy clothes right away
Most women wear their maternity duds for a significant period after giving birth. When those start to get loose, go shopping! Do not pick your pre-pregnancy size automatically off the rack. Get a size or two bigger, and most importantly, make sure they are cute and flattering.
Compare yourself to celebrities on TV and in magazines
The celebrities who have their babies and then three weeks later are on the red carpet slim and trim have tons of money for trainers and shape wear.
With the right attitude and frame of mind, you can regain your self-confidence and start feeling sexy again. As you begin to feel surer of yourself, your partner will take notice! Not only will you be feeling more desire, you will become more desirable to him. Remember, nothing is as sexy as a woman who truly believes she is.